This is one narrative that Liberals are drooling to exploit. In practical terms, the Dipper caucus would not be ready to take on its duties by mid-May (imagine if they had won government!). Probably they won't really be ready until September. But they themselves should shut up about that and take whatever short term drubbing the wounded lion Liberals will inflict.
The Tories went through it in 2006 - people had a field day (Andrew Coyne voted Liberal because of the Emerson affair!). And, it turned out pretty good for us. Like, as good as it could ever have been if you aim to build something that lasts past you.
Canadians expect a few giggles at your expense with this young caucus. But they are not bad-natured giggles. Take the lumps with a smile and get to work immediately. By the time it matters, these stories will become marks of fondness for Canadians. Take Maxime Bernier for example: the nation pines for him in cabinet and the only knock on him is he got dumped so the gorgeous girlfriend won't be v-necking her way through photo ops.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Conservative Majority - the Alien Invasion Begins
Foolish humans! We have succeeded with "Operation Landing Bridge" and your conquest is now all but assured.
The two final pieces fall into place:
1. We needed to eliminate our erstwhile ally, Osama Bin Laden. He knew too much and we needed him too little.
2. Then, we needed to secure absolute control of a sizeable swath of land to secretely land the invasion fleet that will conquer Kloopdu 3, or, as you call it, Earth.
With our puppet, Stephen Harper, now fully in charge of Canada, we can prepare the ground for our secret landing.
And you Canadians shall be the first humans to learn of the horrible torture that is life as our slaves. But before that, we'll warm you up with a few years of horrid Conservative government.
Harper will build mega-prisons and you, innocent, foolish Canadians will live in there. We will take away all your rights and freedoms. You will be made to wear uniforms that will seem too thick in summer and too thin in winter. You will eat only potatoes. And in work, you will be highly efficient!
Take heart, Canada, it may hurt that you voted for your own destruction and misery; but trust us, there are worse alien overlords out there than us.
The two final pieces fall into place:
1. We needed to eliminate our erstwhile ally, Osama Bin Laden. He knew too much and we needed him too little.
2. Then, we needed to secure absolute control of a sizeable swath of land to secretely land the invasion fleet that will conquer Kloopdu 3, or, as you call it, Earth.
With our puppet, Stephen Harper, now fully in charge of Canada, we can prepare the ground for our secret landing.
And you Canadians shall be the first humans to learn of the horrible torture that is life as our slaves. But before that, we'll warm you up with a few years of horrid Conservative government.
Harper will build mega-prisons and you, innocent, foolish Canadians will live in there. We will take away all your rights and freedoms. You will be made to wear uniforms that will seem too thick in summer and too thin in winter. You will eat only potatoes. And in work, you will be highly efficient!
Take heart, Canada, it may hurt that you voted for your own destruction and misery; but trust us, there are worse alien overlords out there than us.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Osama Bin Laden. Dead.
Lunatic slaughterer of innocence, Bin Laden will be best remembered for his unabashed use of beard dye and preference for living in caves with smelly men perenially shouting.
For the death of death salesmen, attention will be paid - lots of celebration but renewed vigilance as well. More lunatics are out there, they meet each in secret places to compare beards and plot world conquest. They don't think much of their life which is why they think none of yours and mine. We remain at risk and on guard.
We also must acknowledge the excellent job in terms of fighting terrorism that President Obama has done. It cements, I think, his re-election in 2012. And it presents, shortly and in his second term, his opportunity to be a transformational president. Needless to say, both in Obama's performance and Osama bin Laden's death, GWB is smiling.
For the death of death salesmen, attention will be paid - lots of celebration but renewed vigilance as well. More lunatics are out there, they meet each in secret places to compare beards and plot world conquest. They don't think much of their life which is why they think none of yours and mine. We remain at risk and on guard.
We also must acknowledge the excellent job in terms of fighting terrorism that President Obama has done. It cements, I think, his re-election in 2012. And it presents, shortly and in his second term, his opportunity to be a transformational president. Needless to say, both in Obama's performance and Osama bin Laden's death, GWB is smiling.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Canada's Yellow Revolution
It is so much fun to contemplate waking up next Tuesday to a Jack Layton government. Okay, granted it won't be Tuesday, it will be a few days after the first Throne Speech.
Jack Layton, as official opposition, will be asked by the GG to try and win the confidence of the house.
The rump Bloc will support the NDP. And, as we have seen this week, demand only that Layton make good on his campaign promises re: Quebec, in return.
The Liberals have a choice. Support the Conservatives in a coalition. Support the NDP in a coalition.
The NDP can win the Liberals over by offering, say, 3 cabinet positions to the Liberals. Maybe the Dipper's will have to thrown in re-branding some spending program as the "Education Passport".
Not all Liberals will like this deal and their protest will manifest itself in the form of some MPs (e.g., Scott Brison). However, it won't be enough to overcome the Layton-Liberal-Bloc coalition deal.
For Liberals, this is the best option available. They have submit to the NDP in order to match their actions to their words (i.e., remove Harper at all costs); while doing so, they have to pray for Layton to fuck everything up.
And the NDP would fuck everything up.
Jack Layton, as official opposition, will be asked by the GG to try and win the confidence of the house.
The rump Bloc will support the NDP. And, as we have seen this week, demand only that Layton make good on his campaign promises re: Quebec, in return.
The Liberals have a choice. Support the Conservatives in a coalition. Support the NDP in a coalition.
The NDP can win the Liberals over by offering, say, 3 cabinet positions to the Liberals. Maybe the Dipper's will have to thrown in re-branding some spending program as the "Education Passport".
Not all Liberals will like this deal and their protest will manifest itself in the form of some MPs (e.g., Scott Brison). However, it won't be enough to overcome the Layton-Liberal-Bloc coalition deal.
For Liberals, this is the best option available. They have submit to the NDP in order to match their actions to their words (i.e., remove Harper at all costs); while doing so, they have to pray for Layton to fuck everything up.
And the NDP would fuck everything up.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Sun News, Day 1
Seinfeld, the Simpsons, Chuckercanuck. Three things that sucked in their early days.
Sun News TV's debut was not Hoover-scaled sucky, but it wasn't a Peter Jackson fantasy epic either.
See, I thought it was great that the various hosts lined up to tell us how bad Lybia's dictactor is and that Jeb Bush is going to be interviewed in the coming days. I chuckled over the bit about the porn-star school secretary. And, I hear, Ezra Levant went all Prophet Mohammed cartoon on us. Real right-wing shock.
However, outside the Sun News TV studio, Canada is having an election. It seems to me that this election is worth a couple of minutes of air time.
The only election talk I heard was an endless loop of Liberal commercials telling me that Stephen Harper makes challah bread with the blood of young liberals.
So, at 8 pm, I turned to Don Martin and CTV because, unlike the Sun, they recognized that Canadians might, just might, want to talk about the election. At least I did.
Sun News TV's debut was not Hoover-scaled sucky, but it wasn't a Peter Jackson fantasy epic either.
See, I thought it was great that the various hosts lined up to tell us how bad Lybia's dictactor is and that Jeb Bush is going to be interviewed in the coming days. I chuckled over the bit about the porn-star school secretary. And, I hear, Ezra Levant went all Prophet Mohammed cartoon on us. Real right-wing shock.
However, outside the Sun News TV studio, Canada is having an election. It seems to me that this election is worth a couple of minutes of air time.
The only election talk I heard was an endless loop of Liberal commercials telling me that Stephen Harper makes challah bread with the blood of young liberals.
So, at 8 pm, I turned to Don Martin and CTV because, unlike the Sun, they recognized that Canadians might, just might, want to talk about the election. At least I did.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Rise up! Rise Up Canada!
Nothing Stephane Dion ever did was ever as sublime as this.
If anything ever killed a candidate's chances, this is it. And, salt to the wound, when Iggy looked for revolutionary inspiration, he chose yankee Bruce Springsteen - probably because he wasn't around when the Parachute Club released its opus on the world.
Of course, Parachute Club's Rise Up is Jack Layton's favorite song (I am not making that up).
If anything ever killed a candidate's chances, this is it. And, salt to the wound, when Iggy looked for revolutionary inspiration, he chose yankee Bruce Springsteen - probably because he wasn't around when the Parachute Club released its opus on the world.
Of course, Parachute Club's Rise Up is Jack Layton's favorite song (I am not making that up).
Monday, March 14, 2011
Bloc-quing a spring election
If anyone should stop a spring election from happening, it is the Bloc Quebecois. You can read the argument between the lines of this Chantal Hebert column.
The Bloc has no advantage to gain through an election. They can do, at beast, little in terms of seat count or, in terms of raison d'etre, advancing separatism.
The downside, however, happens on day 18 of the campaign, when Quebeckers realize that the Harper regime will swallow up another 20 seats and be the majority government of Canada. Suddenly, the Bloc Quebecois is at most an irritating rash on the Canadian skin. Chantal Hebert hides this point in her column, maybe because she doesn't want to scare the Bloc into avoiding the election. Because Quebeckers won't figure out the future flaccidity of the Bloc Quebecois in a majority government scenario too late. It will be Day 18.
Fun to mention: Duceppe is in his third decade as a major political figure in Canadian politics. This is historic proportions and I think lovers of Canada should pay tribute to his contribution to the richness and stability of Canadian political life.
The Bloc has no advantage to gain through an election. They can do, at beast, little in terms of seat count or, in terms of raison d'etre, advancing separatism.
The downside, however, happens on day 18 of the campaign, when Quebeckers realize that the Harper regime will swallow up another 20 seats and be the majority government of Canada. Suddenly, the Bloc Quebecois is at most an irritating rash on the Canadian skin. Chantal Hebert hides this point in her column, maybe because she doesn't want to scare the Bloc into avoiding the election. Because Quebeckers won't figure out the future flaccidity of the Bloc Quebecois in a majority government scenario too late. It will be Day 18.
Fun to mention: Duceppe is in his third decade as a major political figure in Canadian politics. This is historic proportions and I think lovers of Canada should pay tribute to his contribution to the richness and stability of Canadian political life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)